Sunset at Prien Lake Park

Sunset at Prien Lake Park

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Que Sera, Sera

Eric's having another pukey day. I guess he started throwing up around 8:00 AM. Andrew and I had stayed at the Sellars again and went to church. I forgot to take my cell phone into church with me. During church, Eric asked for me. Bob tried to call me many times and texted once, "Come here now," but I didn't get the message till after church. I feel so terrible, not being there when he needed me. He's been vomiting here and there throughout the day, and in between he's non-stop nauseated. Meanwhile, he's lost two days of PT and countless calories. They're doing a cortisol stress test to determine if there's a problem with his steroids. They're checking his pancreas. Changing his NG formula. They consulted the GI docs, who had several more recommendations, starting with a x-ray. No one has said for sure, but I have an ominous feeling all this is going to delay our Tuesday discharge.

I had a memory this morning, as I started humming a familiar tune. When I was in 6th grade, an elementary friend Michelle and I sang Que Sera Sera in the school talent show. I don't know why we chose that song, or even why we wanted to sing in the talent show, but there we were, singing "Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see, que sera, sera." They were likely the first spanish words she and I ever learned.

It's so true, isn't it? We have so little control over our future. Life comes at us, and we have no choice but to deal with it. Anything can happen, unexpectedly, and diverts the course of our lives in other directions. Due to the air pockets in his lungs, Eric, our first chair trumpeter not only in his middle school band but the district-wide honor band as well, has been told he shouldn't play this instrument. He's been told he shouldn't fly, which limits his ability to travel. In less life-altering ways, he's also been told not to scuba dive or climb Mt. Everest.

So many people say things to me like, "I don't know how you do it," "You're so strong," "You've been such an inspiration," etc. I'm touched and honored to hear these things, but honestly, I haven't done anything that each of you wouldn't also do. Or that many of you have already done in your lifetimes. Everyone's life has trials. We do what we have to do. And isn't it easier when we're buoyed by the support and prayers of others, and the tangible help of God Himself?

Unrelated to all this, I love a quote by Rev. Mark Cooper, co-pastor at Christ Church Presbyterian (http://www.ccpres.org/). He said this morning that, as Christians, we shouldn't say "Look what the world has come to." But rather, "Look what has come into the world."

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Angie, I'm so sorry that Eric is still having these gi problems. I pray that the medical team finds that its simple to fix.
You say it well. We are not in charge. We can take what we are given, and make the best of it. I know that's what you'll all do.
Meanwhile, this is hard. And we pray.
Eric has come a long way. He'll get there!
Love and prayers
anne

Vicki Loucks said...

Hi Angie,
I have never met you, and yet I am so touched by your family. You are an amazing woman and an amazing mom. While we can't control the future, we can count on a God who can.

I'm going to turn the tables on you and ask for your prayers - ther is a 14 year old boy in our church, Travis, who has had a non-malignant (they think) brain tumor for a year or so. Recently, the tumor has tripled in size - tomorrow, his mom will get a call to schedule brain surgery. Please pray for Travis and his mom Amy. Prayer changes things...
Blessings from New Stanton!
Vicki

Angie said...

Indeed, I know the power of prayer and will pray for Travis and Amy. Keep me posted. Feel free to email me, angiedilmore@gmail.com.

LKHarris-Kolp said...

I'm glad you have such a great outlook- this shows that your faith is strong. Hang in there... God has gotten you this far, He won't let you down. I'm still praying for you and now will add Travis and Amy to my prayers, too.

Your writing buddy, Laurie

jess said...

Tears and prayers for you this morning, Angie. I'll be praying for Travis and Amy too.